The Queen’s death and your own grief

With the news of the death of a much-loved Queen, and as the country recognises her life of service, we may become aware that it is having an impact on us too. We may feel quite surprised and confused by how we are feeling.

Whilst we didn’t know her personally, or most likely have never even met her, the images we see of her grieving children, and upset members of the public, can stir up many deeply felt emotions within us – including other losses and our own grief.

For those of us who have been bereaved, whether recently or long ago, thoughts and emotions that you may have thought had passed can come back to the surface. A familiar wave of sadness can wash over you and you may feel plunged back into your own loss.

The stories and images we see across numerous TV and radio channels can trigger emotions within us – remembering the loss of our own mother, grandmother, other family member, or friends.

The coverage of the events in the media can set off a very powerful and collective grief and a sense of insecurity and uncertainty for the future. You might even feel yourself reflecting more on your own mortality and that of those around you.

Grief is unique to each individual, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. But, at this time, give yourself permission to feel sad. Turn to those who you can talk to, and share your thoughts and feelings with them. 

You might find it helps to take a break from the news, to avoid feeling overwhelmed.  Some people find it helpful to perform an act of remembrance, and this can be as simple as lighting a candle or placing a rose in a vase.

Times of thoughtfulness and reflection, as we think about what has happened, and then connect with the stories and memories of our loved ones, can give us an opportunity to create some much-needed space in our own busy lives and minds.

We may find that some of the memories that come flooding back are both happy and sad. However remembering is an act of loving, and acknowledging this may provide some comfort.